How do we become really intimate with everything that we are experiencing?
How do we learn to stop our avoiding and shutting down and escaping – all ways of not being present with what is?
Intimacy. Sometimes paraphrased as: In To Me See. What does that word bring up for you? Do you automatically think of sex? What if you could become intimate with the whole of life? And what would it look like and feel like to you to become intimate with everything? If you could see deeply into – everything…
Most likely it would feel like connection; first with yourself, and then with everything else. Intimacy is essentially about connection. It’s about saying yes to what is and being fully there and fully present with it.
It’s about not disconnecting from ourselves when we experience uncomfortable feelings. It’s about not disconnecting from others because of our uncomfortable feelings. It’s about not avoiding those difficult conversations or encounters that we know we need to have.
The funny thing is, that the more we open to what is, wholeheartedly, then the less we are likely to have things and people in our lives that we want to avoid. Because more often than not, when we face situations fully and are able to express ourselves fully in the moment, we will avoid misunderstandings further up the road. I know, this is not easy…. don’t worry, it’s a practice. Practice, practice and it will get easier.
The key to becoming intimate with everything, is practicing consciously opening your heart when it wants to shut down, avoid, disconnect, indulge in addictive behaviours or just straight out run.
Essentially, this practice is about staying in touch with our deeper self at all times. It is about not letting out mental chatter highjack our experience and take us out of our lives.
Now try to for yourself. To be intimate with all of life we need to start by being intimate with ourselves.
Practice the art of intimacy with yourself by being aware of and honouring yourself and your needs at all times.
Honour Yourself First
Pay attention to your inner voice and your feelings. Rest when you need to rest. Reach out when you need to reach out. Eat when you are hungry. Don’t eat when your body is telling you it’s had enough. Develop a healthy dialogue with your higher self that bypasses the chattering mind.
Importantly, let go of people pleasing. Do and say what you want, for you, not because you are trying to please others.
When with Others, Pause
When in company with loved ones and friends and family, try and slow things down. Pause and allow feelings to arise and develop and take time before you speak or react. Try and respond instead of reacting.
Open your Heart when it Wants to Close
We all have our habitual patterns.
One of those for most of us is shutting down in some way when we encounter something that is challenging or difficult for us. Whether that something is an internal thing – thought or a feeling – or an interaction with someone, try this week to pause and open your heart to the uncomfortableness instead of closing. Amazingly, sometimes just this act of openness will mean when fully felt, that uncomfortable-ness will melt away. It was something coming up for processing.
Look and Listen More Deeply
Try looking more deeply at everything you see. Whether it’s a flower in your garden, your child’s face, your friend’s new painting or the sunset. Look more closely, down a few more levels than you normally go. Listen more to the sounds of the the wind in the trees, to the birds, to the insects, and to the sounds of your own body and breath.
If you are feeling disconnected from your self, then take time out. Even if it’s a ten minute emergency toilet break. Breathe and re-connect.
We hope this has given you an insight into becoming more intimate and connected with everything around you. You’ll also find that retreating with us will enable you further connection.
Michelle is a writer, musician, meditation and yoga teacher based in Bali. She teaches meditation and yoga retreats through her own business, The Global Yogi. and also offers coaching sessions in Self Love.