Many of us move through life at a pace that we ourselves can barely keep up with. We focus on our desires or next steps, losing sight of what’s right in front of us. But when we live our lives this way, contentment becomes an unattainable goal: a receding finish line… that we keep on chasing.
A Welcome Perspective Shift
Once while sitting down with my mentor, she asked a profound question: ‘What do you want from your life?’ I considered this for a moment, before answering with:
- I want to feel connected to my loved ones.
- To feel that I’m in alignment with my soul path and purpose.
- To have abundance and prosperity, whatever shape and form that may take.
She looked at me carefully, before gently asking another question. ‘What if you already have all of those things?’
I stared at her blankly. She continued.
“Do you feel connected to your loved ones?”
I thought of my family and friends, and my heart swelled with love. “Yes.”
“Sitting here, talking to me, are you not already on your soul path?”
“Yes…”
“And do you feel abundance and prosperity in your life?”
I looked around the sunny, golden room in Bondi, Sydney. I smelt the beautiful incense and sank into the comfort of the couch I was on. “Yes.”
“Then don’t you already have all you want?”
This simple conversation changed my life. It began to recognise that if I pay attention, I am content with my life, as it is.
It became increasingly clear that contentment can be a fixed state, which moves alongside us and simply changes shape, in accordance with our ever-shifting circumstances and desires.
This seemingly small perspective shift has the potential to bring peace, balance and happiness into our lives. So today we ask you the question: can you hit pause? Can you sink into recognising, and enjoying what all you have?
Setting Goals
Goal setting could seem like a contradiction to the above ideas, but they actually co-exist quite nicely. If our sense of contentment is dependent on attaining all of our desires, because these desires will never cease, it would be impossible to achieve contentment. Instead, we can simply recognise that we’ll never meet an arbitrary finish line. We can stop seeking contentment in the future, enjoy where we are, and the process of moving forward.
This won’t stop us from setting goals. It won’t make us passive, lazy or apathetic. Framed another way, contentment isn’t a matter of never trying to improve our situation. It’s a matter of being content with what we have — whilst recognising that as humans, we’re wired to seek improvements, regardless of how happy we are. This trait fuels our evolutionary process; and if we didn’t have it, humans wouldn’t have come as far as we have today.
‘Should’ Thinking
We suffer when we believe in the validity of an imagined reality that contradicts our own. This clearly seen within ‘should’ thinking. For example, if we are unhappy, it’s the thought ‘I should be happy,’ which really causes pain. This can be remedied by embracing the idea that nothing can go ‘wrong,’ and everything happens as it should. It’s in no way helpful to mentally argue with how things have turned out. A more productive use of our energy would entail switching our focus, by embracing the here and now.
Finding Contentment
So, if contentment is the key… where to start? We’ve compiled a few ideas for you.
- Count your blessings. Notice the things or people that you’re thankful for each day. Feeling gratitude dissolves our polarities of fear and need, because gratitude perfectly expresses the natural abundance that is already ours.
- Find pleasure in the simple things. Take delight in the precious, simple moments of your life. This means things like conversations with loved ones, sunny days, or the pleasure in moving your body. Even household errands like washing the dishes can be done with loving mindfulness! These aspects of our lives don’t cost anything, yet they shower our lives with happiness.
- Notice your consumption. With our modern consumption culture, it can become easy to take things for granted. Try and increase your awareness surrounding your purchases, almost like a child thrilled to have some pocket money! Not only will this stop unnecessary consumption (a wonderful gift for the environment), you’ll save some money, and gain a heightened sensitivity towards everything you do receive.
- Journal. Journaling allows us to slow life down and pay closer attention to the chapters of our lives. This practice is a wonderful way to increase our introspection and awareness of the threads of synchronicity and depth present in all of our lives, when we take the time to notice.
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If this article resonates… why not dive into more mindfulness and reflection by experiencing our Inner Joy retreat? We would LOVE to be a part of your journey.
Note: This article was initially written in 2020, but we’ve updated it!
